SUFFOLK, Va. (WAVY) — The Genieve Shelter is growing to help more people leave violent relationships driven by control and power.
When a person attempts to break up or escape, that is the most dangerous time for survivors of abuse, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Nora’s Safe House is a four-bedroom home that can house four-families or up to 18 people in a secure location.
“We are excited about the fact that we can have more rooms available for victims and survivors of domestic violence because the calls are constantly increasing,” said Marleisa Montgomery, Genieve Shelter executive director.
The newly constructed home comes after years of hard work.
“I’m excited because you can never keep families safe in the motels,” Montgomery said. “When we’re full, we usually have to put families in motels. That opens up a whole lot of avenues for danger … and public exposure. To have a secluded area where it’s safe for families to come, grow and get out of the situations that they’re in when they’re fleeing, with nothing in some cases, and to be able to come into a brand-new environment and a new safe house.”
The home is dedicated to Nora Butler, a longtime advocate for domestic violence survivors, serving as the board president for the Geneive Shelter several times in the Western Tidewater area.
“Nora is a dedicated person who gives of herself and of her family,” Montgomery said. “[She is] a generous supporter for over three decades,” said Montgomery.
With the additional beds inside Nora’s Safe House, the nonprofit organization now provides 52 beds for families.
Several year ago, Kim Ellis called this organization for help when her youngest at the time was just two-years-old.
“I myself am a domestic violence survivor, and the shelter helped me years ago when it was just me and my three kids,” Ellis said. “We were trying to survive. We used to call it the superhero meeting. The reason why we called that [is] because I told them … ‘It’s a private place. We can’t actually disclose our location.’ And the kids, they were little, they were like, ‘Oh, like a superhero base.’ They used to call it the superhero meeting, and so it gave them a lot of power to heal from that situation.”
Ellis explained: “I was married for 11 years. … When you get into a relationship like that, … you think that that kind of possessiveness, that kind of anger, is his love for you. As time goes on, sometimes you have emotional scars, you have physical scars. It takes a toll on your life. You get used to living that way eventually. As time went on for me, one of the turning points was having children. When you have children, Mama Bear comes out. … I said to myself, I have one daughter. I would never, ever want her to have a person who treated her this way.”
Ellis and her kids were able to receive counseling services and legal services at Genieve Shelter.
“It took probably a decade of healing,” Ellis said. “Darkness, evil, whatever you want to call it, it thrives on secrecy. That is the power that someone has over you, because they tell you not to tell. They tell you to hide things. There is shame because you have somebody who loves you and yet they do these things to you.”
Years later, Ellis joined the Genieve Shelter to help others in the community. For the last four years, Ellis has served on the board, alongside Nora for the last four years. Now she is the president.
“It’s been a long journey,” Ellis said. “I’ve been serving on the board. This is four years, since 2020. I came on and Nora Butler was our president. It feels like it’s come full circle to be able to say I was at a place where I needed help and that was a hard season in life. Now I’m prayerful that people who are coming here can see somebody like me. … They can say she survived and not only did she survive, but she thrived enough to be our board’s president and she’s making a difference.”
The Board is now working to raise money for new furniture, including bunk beds, dinning and living room items for the peaceful temporary home.
“It can be a lifesaving experience for the entire family, especially the children,” Montgomery said.
Ellis said there are many faces of domestic violence.
“For me, being Korean-American, there would be a lot of shame,” Ellis said. “… We were all singing the same song that we had suffered, but yet we wanted to be free. We found strength in that commonality, no matter what we look like on the outside.”
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