(TestMiles) – In an age when car enthusiasts are being urged to embrace practicality, BMW has decided to throw caution, reason, and a bit of common sense out the window. Enter the 2024 BMW M5 Touring—the first of its kind to land in the United States, and my word, what a monster this thing is.
Let’s get the obvious bit out of the way first. Yes, this is a station wagon. You might say, “A wagon? Really?” But BMW isn’t known for making mundane grocery-getters. No, this is a station wagon like Usain Bolt is just a runner. With 717 horsepower and a frankly ridiculous 738 lb-ft of torque courtesy of its M Hybrid drive system, this “family hauler” reaches 0-60 mph in 3.5 seconds. To put that in perspective, your average sports car driver will be choking on your exhaust fumes when they figure out what happened.
Before you start worrying about the grocery bags hurtling toward the rear window under acceleration, rest assured, BMW’s all-wheel-drive system ensures that this M5 Touring is more planted than a royal oak. And if you’ve ever wondered what 190 mph in a wagon feels like, the optional M Driver’s Package has you covered. Imagine rolling up to your local supermarket car park with a top speed that rivals a Porsche 911. And then calmly filling the back with up to 57.6 cubic feet of shopping. It’s the automotive equivalent of wearing a tuxedo to take out the bins—entirely over the top but thoroughly enjoyable.
And let’s talk about the engine. BMW has decided that the 4.4-liter twin-turbo V8 engine, which is already a mechanical marvel, needed an electric sidekick. The result? A combined 717 hp takes this wagon from 50 to 75 mph in a blink—3.1 seconds, to be exact. Perfect for those pesky motorway overtakes or just because you can. But here’s where it gets a tad ironic. You can also drive this beast in fully electric mode for up to 25 miles at speeds up to 87 mph. Yes, it’s a hybrid. This M5 will give you a taste of the future while letting you enjoy the roaring power of an internal combustion engine. A wagon of contrasts, if ever there was one.
Aesthetically, the M5 Touring doesn’t scream “family vehicle” either. The pronounced wheel arches, flared body lines, and aggressive front and rear aprons ensure that nobody will mistake this for the usual suburban family car. It’s the station wagon your neighbors will both envy and fear. The large air intakes and redesigned BMW kidney grille may suggest you’re trying a bit too hard, but frankly, if you’re going to drive something with this much firepower, why not make sure everyone notices?
The interior is just as decadent as you’d expect from a car with a starting price of $121,500—plus the inevitable $1,175 destination and handling charge. The 14.9-inch touchscreen infotainment system, paired with a 12.3-inch display, ensures you’re constantly informed and possibly distracted by BMW’s latest tech wizardry. With wireless Apple CarPlay, Android Auto, and an 18-speaker Bowers & Wilkins Surround Sound System, you could argue that this wagon provides the perfect soundtrack for blasting past lesser vehicles on the road.
Let’s not forget the handling. BMW’s adaptive M suspension and 50:50 weight distribution give the M5 Touring all the poise of a sports sedan. It’s hard to believe something this big can be so agile. Whether navigating city streets or winding mountain roads, this wagon will have you grinning like a Cheshire cat. And with a set of staggered wheels—20 inches at the front, 21 inches at the rear—it grips the road like it has something to prove.
Of course, it’s 2024, so this M5 comes packed with enough safety tech to drive itself practically, should you choose to let it. Forward Collision Mitigation, Lane Keeping Assistant, and even hands-free driving in traffic up to 40 mph are all standard. BMW has left no stone unturned to ensure your family arrives in one piece, even if you decide to exercise all 717 horses under the bonnet.
So, what’s the verdict? The M5 Touring is a contradiction wrapped in premium leather—a wagon faster than many supercars, more luxurious than most sedans, and practical enough for the school run. This is it if you’ve ever wanted a car that can do everything and do it all with a knowing smirk. Whether it makes sense or not, it’s a glorious celebration of excess; frankly, we’re here for it.