PORTSMOUTH (WAVY) — A phenom out of Woodrow Wilson High School in Portsmouth in 2004, LaShawn Merritt made his name in the sport of track & field in the 400 meters. He won two gold medals in the 2008 games in Beijing, competing in the 400 and men’s 4×400 relay.

“I didn’t do the sport to become a household name or to become famous,” Merritt told WAVY Sports Director Craig Loper in an exclusive interview.

As laser-focused and clear-headed as Merritt was in those 46 seconds or less around the track once, he was less clear about life after retirement.

“Not having a day to day routine and something to bring my best self to every day — and accountability,” Merritt said. “It was a struggle because I dealt with [an] identity crisis. I didn’t think it was a thing, for real.”

Once on top of his sport, life became darker for Merritt in one specific incident. “What’s my purpose? It even got to the point I was driving and I said if I drive off this bridge who would care? It got to that point.”

For more on LaShawn’s post Olympic life, watch the video above.